What to do if you believe you are a victim of stalking

 

In today's world, the crime of stalking is more sophisticated than ever -- and more difficult to prosecute. Along with unwanted phone calls or letters, and surprise face-to-face meetings, stalking is now possible via the internet: texts, emails, social media postings, online searches.

 

Whatever the method, it is still too easy to minimize fears of stalking: Women are often convinced that they are overreacting, that it's all just innocent acts by a well-meaning person.

 

But it’s important to understand and recognize the crime of stalking is dangerous and report it. A stalker can be someone with whom you are or were in a relationship. Or, it can be a co-worker, acquaintance, or even someone you don't know or know well.

 

Victims of stalking suffer anxiety and severe depression at much higher rates than the general population. Many lose time from work or lose their jobs because of the stalker’s actions. Approximately 14% of stalking victims end up being forced to move.

 

CAV's experience shows that stalking is highly common among domestic and sexual violence abusers. Most victims do know their assailant. Moreover, stalking can result in a woman in an abusive relationship being murdered by the abuser, as 75% of women who were murdered by an intimate partner had been stalked previously by their murderer.

 

Although it’s a crime in all states, all too often stalking is minimized by law enforcement, perpetrators -- even victims. Fortunately, New Mexico is one of a few states that have laws against both harassment and stalking on the books. Because of that, misdemeanor harassment can elevate to stalking when the intent and actions of the perpetrator worsen, like repeated following, surveilling, digitally threatening or the like.

 

Initially, stalking is a misdemeanor. Repeated offenses and more severe actions -- violating a restraining order, threatening with a deadly weapon, stalking someone under 16 -- make it a felony with harsher penalties.

If you or someone you know suspects they are being stalked, safety is the very first concern. Above all, trust your instincts: If you think it's happening, it's happening. Call the police.

With that in mind, follow these suggestions and consult WomensLaw.org for more specifics:

  • Stop or limit all communications from the stalker.
  • Keep a cell phone nearby and don't hesitate to call 911.
  • Try to travel with a friend, and vary routes to common destinations, like the grocery store.
  • Practice extreme caution with social media sites, such as high security settings and no personal info for purchases.
  • Put an alert on your credit cards to protect from personal identity information theft.
  • Alert friends, family, trusted co-workers or schoolmates, and security staff about the stalker with description and photo, if possible.
  • Develop an escape strategy if you feel you are in physical danger.

To strengthen your case against a stalker, contact police and then get a copy of your case report. Keep a log or record of each contact from the stalker. Stalking is a difficult crime to prosecute, so law enforcement and district attorneys need all the evidence possible. Save all pertinent emails, text messages, photos, and social media postings. Consider filing for a protective order through local courts.

 

And, find help. CAV has trained advocates ready to assist. Or call Victim Connect (855) 484-2846; National Domestic Violence Hotline (800) 799-7233 [TTY (800) 787-3224]; National Sexual Assault Hotline (800) 656-4673; or visit StalkingAwareness.org.

 

Malinda Williams is the executive director of Community Against Violence (CAV) which offers FREE confidential support and assistance for child and adult survivors of sexual and domestic violence, dating violence, stalking, and child/elder abuse; community and school violence prevention programs; re-education groups for people using power and control in their relationships; counseling; shelter; transitional housing; and community thrift store. To talk or get information on services, call CAV’s 24-hour hotline at 575-758-9888. TaosCAV.org