Male Survivors of Sexual Assault & Abuse
One of the US’s most under-reported crimes is sexual assault/abuse (SV) of boys and men. Whether because of shame, stigma, or self-doubt, most unwanted sexual encounters are not reported – and often, the victims go without support and counseling.
While women have a higher risk of sexual assault during their lives, males are also the victim of SV, particularly as boys and adolescents. According to studies, approximately 1 in 6 boys are sexually assaulted before age 18. Taking all males into consideration, 1 in 4 have experienced unwanted sexual events during their lifetimes.
Most perpetrators of SV against males are white, heterosexual men, and married or in long-term relationships with women. While females do sometimes sexually assault males, a Centers for Disease Control (CDC) study found males perpetrated 93.3% of rapes against males.
The reporting rate for male victims, especially those victimized by other males, is low – only 16% of men with documented histories (through social services) believe they were abused, according to 1in6.org. Psychiatrists note few men see themselves as victims/survivors of SV – typically saying, "I should have been strong enough" to stop it.
As any issue we’re uncomfortable with, discussions of male SV become clouded with myths that have developed and persisted for years. These downplay and ignore the severity of harm to male victims. Here are some myths:
- “Sexual abuse is less harmful to males.”
- “Only gay men sexually abuse men/boys.”
- “Being a male assaulted by another male means you’re gay.”
- “Males abused by females ‘got lucky.’”
Like SV against women, SV against men is an act of power and control using the weapon of sexual assault. An assault may appear, at first, to be merely attention from another. But most perpetrators are predators who will patiently and systematically set up an unknowing victim.
Because many victims don't speak up for themselves, friends, family, and acquaintances might be able to offer help.
- Learn more about SV of males: 1in6.org is an organization focusing on male sexual assault; and RAINN.org (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network) is the nation's largest anti-sexual violence organization.
- Take care of yourself when talking with a victim. Take a break if you feel sadness or anger so you can be at your best to help.
- Don't push for information. Pace yourself; issues can be overwhelming for both of you. Often, an acceleration of a discussion is an expression of our own feelings, not necessarily the victim who will likely feel pressured and resist.
- Let the victim know he’s not alone – share some statistics above or at the websites mentioned. Knowing there are many others who have experienced what he has will be helpful.
We at CAV know males are assaulted at much higher rates than publicly reported or privately shared. Calling CAV’s 24-hour Helpline at 575-758-9888 is a safe first step for survivors or anyone who knows someone they suspect is being assaulted.
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New CAV Thrift Store Opens!
We are excited to announce CAV Thrift Store that readers voted “Best in Taos,” just got better! It has taken years to complete, and we are eager to invite you to the new larger store, open Tuesday-Saturday 10am-6pm, for a wonderful selection of furniture, household items, books, jewelry, clothing, and more.
Look for the large two-story building at 1509 Paseo del Pueblo Sur, across from Sagebrush Inn, with ample parking and donation drop-off access. Proceeds support CAV services for child and adult survivors of domestic and sexual violence.
Malinda Williams is executive director of Community Against Violence (CAV) which offers FREE confidential support and assistance for child and adult survivors of sexual and domestic violence, dating violence, stalking, and child and elder abuse; community and school violence prevention programs; re-education groups for people using power and control in their relationships; counseling; shelter; transitional housing; and community thrift store. To talk or get service information, call CAV’s 24-hour Helpline at 575-758-9888. TaosCAV.org
