Grooming at Heart of Boy Scouts of America Abuse
The recent news that Philmont Scout Ranch in Cimarron appears to remain in operation may be seen as good news for the Colfax County economy. But it's clearly a cautionary tale for anyone who’s been a victim of sexual abuse by an authority figure.
Philmont's owner, Boy Scouts of America (BSA), has agreed to pay $850 million to more than 60,000 victims. The amount and number of victims are still in dispute and a final decision hasn't been made in court.
Our youth deserve further curtain raising on all entities who know of abuse, often for years, and do nothing until victims sue them.
Adults who sexually abuse youth are pedophiles. What these Scout leaders did for decades is called "grooming." I write about grooming regularly because it’s so often mistaken for an adult being super nice and helpful to the child/teen and parent. The grooming process can happen over weeks, months, or years in gaining the victims’ loyalty.
Yes, most Scout leaders, coaches, teachers, youth pastors, bus drivers, and others are caring, dedicated people. But grooming is a real danger. Parents may, at first, think there's nothing wrong while the perpetrator gradually builds the victim’s trust before committing sexual abuse.
Here's a list of behavior examples to be on the lookout for:
- Befriending the child and family as a means of creating ways to spend time alone with a child, especially behind closed doors or on special outings.
- Giving gifts, money, doing special favors, especially if only some children receive them.
- Telling the child their relationship is special and encouraging them to keep secrets, even about the special treatment.
- Excessive text, phone, or online communication.
- Tickling, poking, hugging, backrubs, sitting too close – this de-sensitizes the child to touching and tests whether the child will tell others about it.
- Talking about romantic or sexual relationships.
- Making sexual comments or telling dirty jokes.
- Taking pictures of the child.
- Giving the child drugs or alcohol.
- Offering to watch the child for the parent, including sleepovers.
In a recent open letter, Jenny Coleman, the director of StopItNow.org, a strong anti-sexual abuse advocacy organization, urged parents to have open and frank conversations with their children as early as possible. She suggests using imaginary situations, like this one, to foster discussions:
"I ask people to imagine that there is someone who, for the point of this demonstration, we know is at-risk to sexually abuse a child. This person shares mature sexual information with a child as a test to see how they react – or 'casually' touches his genitals in front of a child, to see if that child notices and comments. In other words, this person is engaging some grooming strategies to check on a child’s vulnerability."
Consider the parents and guardians of more than a million Boy Scouts who sent them to Philmont Scout Ranch never expecting them to become vulnerable to grooming and sexual abuse. After all, they were under the care of an organization based on duty, honor, and moral character!
What happened at Philmont was innumerable instances of sexual violence against children. BSA has said that by paying abuse victims, the organization can get out of bankruptcy and begin to clear its name.
At the very least, we at CAV hope “clearing its name” will be the beginning of an intensive overhaul of instituting hardline policies to make it safe to be a Boy Scout at Philmont.
Malinda Williams is executive director of Community Against Violence (CAV) which offers FREE confidential support and assistance for child and adult survivors of sexual and domestic violence, dating violence, stalking, and child and elder abuse; community and school violence prevention programs; re-education groups for people using power and control in their relationships; counseling; shelter; transitional housing; and community thrift store. To talk or get service information, call CAV’s 24-hour Helpline at 575-758-9888. TaosCAV.org
